Thoughts on the iPhone 5

Ok, so its finally been announced. After months of speculations, rumour-hunting and anticipation, the most significant invention ever has finally upgraded itself.

Personally, my iPhone controls my life. It's the only equipment that is never out of arm's reach 24 hours of the day. In fact there never has been any gadget before it came along that I turn to for (almost) everything I need. In fact, the 'i' added to the 'phone' in the name itself speaks volumes about getting a brand name right.

I think its getting to almost five years since I've been using an iPhone. My first was the iPhone 3G, followed by the iPhone 3GS, and then the iPhone 4. I resisted from upgrading to the iPhone 4S, mainly due to some personal resource constraints (albeit with a lot of self-control).

Now is the time for a double upgrade. I can't wait to get my hands on the iPhone 5. As expected, while waiting for it to materialise into my hands, I'm poring over every written word that I come across about it. And there seems to be a lot of disappointment being aired.

I'm sure that I'm not the only person to share such a deeply bonded relationship with my iPhone. Millions like me use the iPhone day in and day out without giving the slightest thought to how vital it is to their life. But like me, all of us iPhone fanatics do spend some time lovingly polishing their iPhone and sending a conscious or sub-conscious 'thank you' to the man and the organisation that made it happen.

With such high levels of intimacy that the iPhone enjoys with its owner, it is extremely difficult for Apple to upgrade it. The greatest achievement that Apple has pulled with the iPhone 5 is that it retains its familiarity and yet gets much better. As everyone probably knows by now, it is taller but not broader. That's an example of Apple's genius at work.

Compare this with the Samsung Galaxy S3, which is purportedly 'Designed for Humans', and yet is a phone that is bulky like the transistors of yore. Just having to have a larger screen doesn't give you an excuse of totally disregarding usage comfort. And people who end up buying this crap can only be termed idiotic.

Apple is extremely reluctant to change user interfaces right from start. And I applaud rather than criticise them for it. When they get something that feels just right in your gut, it should not change. The new iPhone probably feels the same in your hands, maybe better.

Then there is the argument that it lacks so many things that were expected. NFC, Wireless charging, etc.

Is the world ready for NFC yet? Apple has always been ruthless in keeping out innovations for the sake of innovations. If it won't make a real difference in making your life better, it won't be added to an Apple product. Besides, if you can transfer stuff through simple stuff like email, dropbox and iCloud over a few inches or across thousands of miles, why would you add technology bulk to be able to do that over a few feet?

Coming to wireless charging. Lumia, the joke of smartphones, seems to be having it. No wonder their phones are fat and ugly. I would much rather charge the phone with my trusted cable and do it in one fifth of the time, rather than charge it wirelessly and get it all heated up. Another useless technology that Apple has done without.

Then there are critics even of things that Apple HAS changed - the smaller connector and the Nano SIM. No one can accuse Apple of being anal about change with these two changes that they have introduced. I admit, it would be a bit of a pain to have all my docks and chargers turned redundant overnight. But with the connector, the problem is solved. And going ahead everything would eventually evolve anyway. The same is with the Nano Sim. Things get smaller. We have all moved from the Card, to the SIM, to the Micro Sim. So why not go one step ahead? The point is that these changes have made the iPhone sleeker, faster, thinner and better in every way.

The iPhone 5 has taken major steps to heighten the delight of the user. There has never been an organisation in history that keeps its product lines to the bare minimum and yet has a fan-following that borders on zealotry. At any point of time there is only one iPhone. The others are older models that are being phased out. A quick search on Samsung Smartphones in Sulekha.com gives a mindnumbing range of forty-three models. And not one of which is desirable.

For the critics, all I can say is that they had written off the iPad as impractical! And going further back into history, the Western Union Telegraph Company had sent a memo in 1877 saying, "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." Seems there are a few in every era.

In case this sounds like a rant from a rat that is hopelessly being led by a pied piper, I have only one defence to present. I have used an iPhone and my life is better with it. I can't now imagine life without it. And that feeling doesn't come from merely hanging on to every word spoken by Jonathan Ive in his video or by watching the keynote address of the Apple Special Event. It comes from the smallest ways in which this gadget makes your life better. 

Apple doesn't need to say 'designed for humans'. It just needs to say, 'Here's the new iPhone'.

Don 2

When you have a character like Don to play with, you must have the script to make sure that whatever he does becomes even more awe-inspiring. No one's looking for realism. In fact we want to see him pull off unbelievable capers. He's after all our very own Ethan Hunt or James Bond with his own bad-boy charm.  SRK and Don are immaculately conceived in the film (excuse the bad Christmas pun). Every line, every expression thought through well and delivered in acceptable SRK acting or hamming - depending on whether you like him or don't.  The problem starts when the script and director chooses to focus only on his character to portray his greatness. And that really fails The film in the overall scheme of things. Every other person - whether a cop or a rival gangster -  looks like they wouldn't be competent enough to bunk college, let alone catch the Don.  Priyanka Chopra is irritating when she throws attitude at him on catching him twice. Both times no thanks to her. Om Puri looks tired of mouthing cliches. Boman tries to look menacing but ends up being a caricature of himself from his other roles. Kunal Kapoor seems earnest at getting his fifteen minutes of fame. And Lara looks fabulous with a lot of plastic smiles and fancy hairdos but stops there. The guy playing Jabbar looks and acts like Big Moose and he's supposed to be the one to kill the mighty Don! The most groan-worthy is Priyanka's love interest-cum-subordinate. The opening sequence is fabulous. Then one is reminded of various films and TV series seen over time. Prison-Break like prison scenes, 24 like computer graphics, Ocean's Eleven like heist, Mission Impossible like fancy party wearing a mask, Usual Suspects like "poof, he's gone!", James Bond like car chases, Matrix like lobby gunfight, Die Hard like hostage situation, etc. All this makes for a heady cocktail of action. No points deducted for slick moviemaking but definitely negative marking for thoughtless character buildup. An example - Priyanka still wears a dainty Tag Heuer when on a search-and-rescue mission. Disappointing at the end of it all, especially from Farhan Akhtar whose forte has so far been in developing memorable characters on screen. The Don franchise promised great depth from its characters at the end of the first part. This one just doesn't live up to it. It just remains a straightforward heist film with predictable twists and turns. I hope there's no third if this is where it's like to head. Expecting too much from Don 2 is the real letdown. It's ended up being an Abbas-Mastan thriller. Script ko pakadna naamumkin nahin, par mushkil zaroor ho sakta hai. Wish Farhan had paid attention to that.

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

So here are three friends, each battling their own issues - one burdened by the past, one obsessed about the present and one unsure about the future. They get together for a trip of their lifetime and along the way learn their lessons when not really seeking the answers.

Learning the simple lessons of life is not an easy job. Sometimes you need a shock to get up and realise what has gone wrong or what can go wrong. Other times, the beauty and the reality of life just slowly creep up on you when you are least expecting it. And these are the lessons that always have a much more lasting effect, especially when they have the power to change your past, present and future.

One of these lessons is about just letting go. Letting go of the past baggages that keep haunting you. Letting go of the hurts, angers and resentments that we carry around like a millstone around our necks - overlooked by us but obvious to all others. Imran lets go of his past and jumps to a free fall and learns this lesson. 

Another of these lessons is 'Seize the Day' or 'Carpe Diem'. This is to those people who are obsessed with packing in so much of obligations and ambitions in the present moment, that they live life as one big burden. When Arjun goes deep-sea diving and sees the beauty of the world, he learns this lesson. 

And the third lesson is about facing your fears to write your own future. Having the courage of your convictions, standing up to what's right and making sure that no one else is running your life for you. When Kabir runs with the bulls and faces his fears, he learns this lesson.

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara is a beautiful story that gives out such lessons without being preachy or pretentious. Zoya Akhtar proves that Luck by chance wasn't just luck and nor just by chance. She is definitely a film-maker to watch closely. She has brought a lot of feminine sensitivity to the film that has made it so much more subtle considering it is a film about male-bonding. Wonder why she didn't cast Isha Sharvani instead of Kalki though.

The portrayal of Spain is simply brilliant and it was a real brainwave to use that as the destination to tell this story. Not only is it so rich with life (which is the essential theme of the film), it also has landscapes and culture which is relatively much lesser exposed to the Indian audiences. The characters are lovable in their own ways and nobody really disappoints at all.

The only thing in the film that could have been improved was the actual chemistry between the three boys. It was all there in terms of dialogue and acting, but the magic of Dil Chahta Hai was definitely lacking. When I saw DCH, I was almost moved to tears with nostalgia of my own close friends who are not so much in touch anymore. That did not happen.

But it is a film that definitely should not be missed and must be seen on the large screen only. Go out there and live it up, even if it is just vicariously. The lessons you take home will be real nevertheless. 

Shaitan - Brilliantly devious

Shaitan is about the devil in your head that gets in and refuses to get out - ultimately spiraling you to self-destruction. But never once does the film become preachy or supercilious towards either the characters themselves or the audience. In fact you totally empathise with the 'youth-out-of-control' depiction of the protagonists.

I felt the biggest achievement of the film was that it made me experience what the characters are experiencing. And this is especially evident by the use of POV shots as well as the brilliant sound-edit. Even the effortless manner in which the film swings back and forth between stark reality and psychedelic surrealism is almost as if you are on drugs yourself. 

The performances are brilliant all round. The story has evil portrayed deliciously but there's also just retribution to all in the end. It's arty throughout right up to the spiraling end credits. Some sequences especially the gun-fight and chase with a remixed 'Khoya Khoya Chaand' are absolutely gorgeously depicted. So also is the scene where the first mishap happens while running over an innocent passerby and the aftermath of the same. 

Imagine the thrill of a long roller-coaster ride. Now imagine it flying off the rails and hurtling into space. That's what Shaitan is like. You know that you are in for some crazy, wild story-telling when you sign up for it. The promos and the publicity material has already shown you that. But nothing really prepares you for what's to come. And the best part of it is that it gets worse when you least expect it to. 

Delhi Belly - Sh!t happens (like a work of art)

Having hated the pissing-farting-shitting humour in films like Dumb & Dumber, There's something about Mary and even 3 Idiots, I got into seeing this film with not much hope of even liking it. After all, the entire plot of the film is revolving around someone getting diarrhea as the title and the tagline so proudly proclaim.

It does begin pretty disgustingly. Three youngsters living in conditions that can only be described as absolute squalor. They are fast asleep as the camera lingers lovingly on roaches, butt cracks, toilet bowls, unwashed utensils with congealed leftovers, and more of the like in their shithole. I was wondering if I should be looking for humour in these sordid visuals. But soon humour itself found me. With the entry of the girlfriend of one of those, the three are forced to get up. And once the dialogue starts, there's absolutely no looking back.

The three main characters are simply superb. Each having enough to do and each doing it brilliantly. Even the supporting cast in whatever they have to do have delivered par excellence. If everyone just does a brilliant job, then credit has to be given to the direction. The music score is effective enough to work as almost another character in the plot.

Delhi Belly is definitely not for the prudes and I can imagine certain generations turning up their noses at the language and the visuals depicted. But this is what it is in the real world out there and the actors portray their characters in exactly the same manner.

What works for the film is the plot and the pace. The plot simply breezes along at a pace that makes sure you're kept wanting for more. The length and no-interval format work perfectly for it. The writing is one of the best that I have come across since a long time. That is the real hero of the film.

Don't expect meaningful cinema here. Expect an all-out comedy. But for enthusiasts of what works and what doesn't work in a film - this one would be a brilliant case to study. There's a song in the film that is titled: 'I hate you and within brackets: like I love you'. Likewise, this film is simply 'Mindless Crap and within brackets: that has been mindfully crafted'.

7 khoon maaf

The title of the movie suggests that even murder can be justified and forgivable. But what is definitely not forgivable is killing the immense faith and hopes of film lovers like me have in every new offering from Vishal Bharadwaj.

I saw the film yesterday and am still depressed about it. Why? How? What went wrong? These are some of the questions that are constantly plaguing one's mind.

Consider the story. A woman marries and kills a series of husbands. That's it. The rest is just the elaboration of the motivations and circumstances that led to all those killings. The premise is brilliant. It had huge scope to deliver on human insights and the fine line between good and evil.

What comes across though are characters that seem to have fallen between stools. Susanna is neither a psychopathic serial killer, nor a clear victim of circumstances. In fact she's a bit of both and ends up being totally unconvincing.

Every husband of hers personifies a kind of atrocity that women face. Jealous possessiveness, substance abuse, marital rape, infidelity, blackmailing, and gold-digging. Each could be reasons enough for murder seen from a certain perspective. And that probably was the intended theme of the film.

The portrayal, however, makes them seem shallow. In my opinion, the screenplay deserves the blame which made the pace drag considerably. In its defense, it does convey a lot in a highly subtle manner. Do I want to see it again to understand the subtleties better? Not so, because of the pace.

Naseeruddin Shah is picture perfect. Irrfan Khan is brilliant in portraying the duality of his character. Annu Kapoor is his usual competent self - perfect for the character. Neil Nitin Mukesh has lived up to his role without disappointing too much. The Russian is forgettable. John Abraham is pathetic.

Priyanka Chopra swings between brilliant and hammy. What could have been a performance to die for turns into just about above-average.

I can't put my finger on what I didn't like in the film. It was probably just too ambitious a venture to deliver. Maqbool's lyrical story-telling, Omkara's passion, The Blue Umbrella's pathos, Kaminey's energy, Makdee's intrigue and even Ishqiya's raw earthy appeal were all missing.

Comparisons with other great directors who have failed are inevitable and sad. A plea to anyone who watches this film: Please don't write off Mr Bharadwaj just yet. After delivering six brilliant pieces of creative outputs, I guess I can justify and forgive him this.

Isn't that what the film is all about anyway?

No one killed Jessica

Sometimes, though really rarely, it does happen that reality unfolds in a manner that is as dramatic as the best fiction. If one is making a film on such real events, it becomes that much more critical and difficult to bring out the drama in real life without either making it boring or veering away from the facts. And No one killed Jessica succeeds in delivering by doing just that.

I was quite intrigued by the promos. Slickly made with a fantastic sound track, they made a promise of a film that will deliver a hard-hitting message. Also, everyone is aware of the story of Jessica Lall's murder in Delhi. So Rani Mukherji notwithstanding, I saw the film yesterday as soon as it released.

I wasn't fully aware of the exact details of the Jessica Lall murder story. but I was delighted to check later on Wikipedia that the film was exactly true to the facts. Of course, the names of all the celebrity players in the drama have been changed and I have a feeling that some characters like the cop and the journalist were created as representatives of the police and the media respectively.

I liked the film for several reasons. Excellent screenplay and editing is probably the first of them. Secondly, attention to detail - right down to the make of the mobile phones used - makes it real without being in your face. Thirdly, Vidya Balan is supremely understated as Sabrina, Jessica's sister fighting for justice and doing whatever it takes to hold up against all odds. Fourthly, the storytelling is at just the right pace. It doesn't dawdle except when necessary to bring out the anguish of the characters adequately.

The only thing that rankled a bit was that Rani's character was a little too stereotypical. Playing a fiery journalist who is a modern, liberated, young Indian woman is apparently incomplete if she doesn't smoke at home, spout hindi swearwords with panache and say Fuck and Bitch with very little provocation. I wish her outspokenness was only left for the critical events in the film rather than making them character traits. But her freckles seen through the almost zero makeup in extreme closeups compensate to some extent.

The new year has begun well. Let's hope it brings us a lot more such quality, unpretentious films.