Once upon a time in Mumbai - That 70s (flop) show

So here is a gangster with a heart of gold who loves the city where he grows up and becomes its self-appointed safe-keeper. And there is another gangster, who is more ambitious than conscientious, who ultimately manages to overthrow the first guy and take over the city while ruining it completely. That in a nutshell, is what Once upon... is all about.

The film's attention to detail is amazing. Not only are the clothes and cars from the 70s, but every poster on the wall, every doorknob and every newspaper shown seems authentic. It is evident that the city has changed so much since those days that too many location shoots wouldn't have been possible. But there's an overdose of the 70s atmosphere in the indoor sequences. For instance, rather than focusing on the lead pair at a restaurant table, there are several unnecessary long and wide shots to show inconsequential extras dressed up to create the atmosphere. Yeah, we get it guys, you're showing us a movie set in the 70s. Don't hit us on the head with it.

The story which could have had a lot of drama built around it, ends up being a damp squib. It starts well but then gets spoilt by the overly dramatic sequences to establish the strength of the characters (Ajay Devgn and the train, Emraan Hashmi and his initiation into the gang). So you're getting used to Hindi films which are realistic? Don't. Here's a film set in the 70s, or didn't you know?

The dialogues are totally corny. "Iske bare mein sochunga to usko bura lag jayega" and versions of the same sprinkled around the script. I thought that went out with Pran and Ajit about four decades ago! No wait, it's a 70s movie guys.

The women are always ready with the water-works. The men are always spouting macho lines. Where have we seen that before? Right! In the films made in the 70s.

The plot becomes intricate and then suddenly implodes like a house of cards. Worse, it makes you wonder what the point of it all was in the first place. Such unforgivable writing was okay 40 years ago. But we have to be considerate and take those leaps of faith even today. Why? You know why.

There is a cartoon strip where Calvin asks his father about why the photographs in olden days were black and white. His father tells him that the world used to be black and white then and gradually became coloured sometime in the sixties. In the same way, the makers of the film seem to be confused between the reality and way it was portrayed in the 70s. What we sign up for is to see a movie set in the 70s not made in the 70s. And that's what ends up being disappointing.

Once upon a time, these things happened in Mumbai. And once upon a time such filmy movies were made in Bollywood. Wish we were just given an accurate rendition of the events without the corniness of the movie-making.